It is an example of an essay where you have to give your opinion as to whether you agree or disagree.The sample answer shows you how you can present the opposing argument first, that is not your opinion, and then present your opinion in the following paragraph.
smoking is a dangerous bad contains causes different diseases and damages our brain and of the people are addicted it by someone ,specially our teenagers are affect by their friends.every year the number of people are death for this reason and sometimes they are avoided their family,which really shock-able.smoking has a lot of disadvantage causes different diseases such as cancer of different part of the body and brain stoke which makes para lashed our body.first of fall someone addicted by others and after some days they become chain smoker which really young generation are involved day by day but they do not know about the effect of couldn't understand how many diseases and naturally they fall in the religious point of view it is prohibited is clearly shown our holy Quran ,if someone waste their valuable body parts with out excuse than they will be destroy in harmful not only smoker but also non smoker, if someone smoke infornt of their family member than each member get nicotine by harms both sideon the other hand it has no advantage but some one think that it gives relaxation and our young stars think that it becomes smart i think that smoking is a really harmful to mankind and it waste our valuable life and valuable many thing like property and so many everyone should conscious about the bad effect of smoking and our government should try to increase awareness .lastly i would like to say if we want to get good health and wealth than we should avoid it==================================================IELTS On the positive side, it is clear from your essay that you know how to develop an opinion (you disagree) and how to keep that position consistent within your essay as you go on to give ideas as to why you think this (for health reasons and religious reasons). However, I am not sure what band score you need, but you will struggle to get a high band at present due to your grammar and style.
Most of your sentences have a lot of errors in and it is confusing at times what you are saying.
As I said though, on the positive side you understand how to develop an opinion and ideas to support it.
You just need to learn how to present this properly. This is my answer There is no doubt that tobacco smoking has serious sequlae not for the smoker himself but also for those who are nearby, so it is certainly a harmful habit. To begin, the most important drawback of smoking is the health related problems it causes.
In addition to that , many respiratory diseases including respiratory failure are attributed to smoking.
Futhermore, its health effects also affects passive smokers that is considerd unfair.
They also argue it is a matter of freedom of choice.
Smoking is not against the law, so individuals should have the freedom to smoke where they wish.
Opponents of such a ban argue against it for several reasons.
Firstly, they say that passive smokers make the choice to breathe in other people’s smoke by going to places where it is allowed.